I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
