do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
