Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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