If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
