i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
