It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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