he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
