i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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