69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
