Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
