is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
