So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
