fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
