This girl is more easily done than said...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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