Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
