Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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