Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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