is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
