i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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