Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
