Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm at about main and main street
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
