8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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