i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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