we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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