You made me cry and you don't even care
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
