i barfeds in our rink
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Randomize
