no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
