YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
