Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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