Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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