i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
