it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
