You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
