LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
