no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
