you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
