im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
