Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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