I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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