My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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