he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
