is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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