your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
