I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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