i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
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