ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
