So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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