your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
