so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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