I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Damn victory sex feels great
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
