So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
