vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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