Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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