So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Randomize
